Bailey,
Eightish months ago we met in drama and I was grabbing people’s feet and you were wondering who the hell I was. We then became best friends so quickly I didn’t even realize it. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always been there when I needed you, and I know you always will be.
I’ve never not fought with someone so much.
We may almost always disagree on guys, but that’s okay. You’re still my favorite. Sort of.
You’re my favorite person who… I talk to on a daily basis.
Yeah.
I’ll go with that.
So, recently, our lives have been all too messy. So messy.
But you know what?
We’re fine.
We got this.
We’re some cool kids.
Hah. Well, you’re definitely my best friend. I’ve had best friends before, of course, but they’ve never been there for me like you have. You rock, bro.
I love our language that we’ve made up and how people think for a second that they can understand it, only to be lost again moments later.
I love how we create devious plans and almost never follow through on them.
I love those days when for some reason, we both don’t give a shit anymore and we can just sit under a tree and hate life but it’s okay because there’s a tree in our immediate vicinity.
Okay, we never exactly hate life, but we sometimes hate the people in it.
I love squashing your rhyming skill with my far superior rhyming skills. I find it quite funny and even though you hate me in a non-hateful way for it,
I will continue to do it anyway:]
So, the bottom line is you happen to be the best friend I’ve had in a long time, and nothing will ever change that.
I hope.
At this point I’m just hoping you’re not a spy
assassin
serial killer
rapist
cannibal.
But hey, I’m going to assume you’re not
because if you were I’d have to join you
and then I’d officially be the
worst
churchgoer
e v e r .
Love,
Leecee
Miranda,
You and Bailey are my best best frands:]
I love you.
ah lav u
I honestly would not know how to function without you.
This is not because of my alleged OCD, but because you are a freaking amazing friend.
You rock
clocks
box
pocks
cocks
rocks
fox
socks and I am going to cry when you’re not at Empire next year.
I’m still a bit pissed at you for that.
You are, undoubtedly, one of my favorite people.
You’re nearly as strange as I am
and that last line was stupid
and I love you to death
and you make me use the word ‘and’ too much.
I love the bracelet you got me in San Diego and
that treasure map entertained me for a goo hour, at least.
I’m begging you please don’t become a terrorist; I don’t think I could join you in that one.
Love Leecee<3
Vans/Fred,
You are an amazing and worthwhile friend. You’re also especially fun to sing AVPM/AVPS songs with, and I always have to use bask slashes when I type about you, as above. You are thoughtful, witty, and you have exceptional taste in hats:]
I always can find something to talk about with ypu, and– wait, I just called you ypu. Alright then.– on the rare occasion that I can’t, words aren’t really necessary so we just stand there and nothing hurts and everything is beautiful.
Well, sure, okay. I’m not sure how silence between us fixes life, but for the purpose of this letter, yes.
I don’t always know what’s going on in your life, and since I try not to pry into people’s lives, I generally don’t ask, but I can say that you just rock. That last word would be in italics but I’m writing this post from my blog page so, no. Anyway, I just want you to know that whatever goes on, I will be there for you.
ah lav u n i will b thr 4 u bb.
With love,
Hannibal Lecter
Taylore,
My lovely child, you are strange.
You may not realize this, but you are, indeed, nearly as strange as me.
You make me laugh always, and I love you to shreds, but you need to
update your blog more.
You and Mitchell make Econ fun for me; it would not be bearable without your presence.
Love, Leecee
Allen Thomas Clark,
You amaze me nearly every day.
The things you say are…
kind of out there.
Yesterday you wouldn’t stop laughing
couldn’t stop laughing
and it kind of scared me. But it’s okay because of the Oatmeal.
You make amazing songs/rhymes at the most random of times
and I’ve never seen someone so dependent on coffee.
You would make an amazing llama.
As I’m writing this I realize you don’t even go on blogs
so
I just don’t know.
You’re one of my better friends and I find you can cheer me up no matter what mood I’m in.
That’s probably just because of the tickling which I
do not appreciate.
But that’s okay.
hey
hey guess what
just guess
LLAAAMMMAAAH
indeed.
Love, Albatross.
Aidan,
I’m so jealous that you actually enjoy church.
It’s something that I have to go to every week and I wish I didn’t hate it.
So.
Your hair is really really soft.
It kind of freaks me out, just a little.
Like Jell-o.
Pleasant but terrifying.
anyway
You’ve actually become a very good friend to me.
Which is surprising because
whales.
Just don’t ask.
You’re also a kraken, and I said that your letter would consist of one statement, but I forgot what that was so I’m just going to tell you a really lame joke.
“What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?”
“I don’t know.”
“BANANANA.”
It’s better this way:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/aliens
So there you go.
Have fun.
Be safe.
Don’t fall into any tar pits.
Love, Perry.
Eliza again,
You’re amazing and you don’t deserve to be feeling this crappy.
You’re an amazing artist
You’re an amazing photographer
a hilarious person
and an amazing friend.
You’re not going to be stuck at community college and you will live up to your brother because you will be
better
and your sad poetry is beautiful.
I’m here for you always, even as a last resort,
because you matter and you will always matter.
-Lizzie.
Nessa,
A lot of crap has happened recently, and I don’t really know where I stand with you.
All I know of late is that you say funny things and you have an amazing sweater.
I have no idea whether you still even look at my blog.
Love, Lizzie.
Ashley,
You
are an excellent baker. You bake well. The things you bake are tasty. I enjoy eating the things you bake.
Yeah.
So.
You’re also quite the good friend. I know that I can trust you, always.
Though we do have our quarrels, we do get along moderately well.
Although
I do correct your grammar a lot.
sorry
So goodbye, Pastry whore,
love,
llama.
Eliza,
So here’s the course of events:
rides bus with you->finds hilarious->internets->llamas->rides bus some more->writes letter
Okay.
Eliza you are one of my very favorite people.
*struggles to find example*
The world is an alpaca, you are a llama?
Yes, that works. Anyway.
I think this judgment is mostly because you’re funny.
Really funny.
The bus rides with you&Allen are really quite entertaining. Why?
I don’t know
just because.
By the way, your photography is really very impressive.
You also seem to know things that
involve me that I don’t necessarily know but know and I’m not sure if I am allowed to know but I do and that’s alright.
um
yeah.
I think I’ve done a pretty good job figuring all that out.
sort of. so
This letter seems to have gone no where.
That’s my fault. I’m writing it.
That tends to happen; I have no train of thought.
Or it got lost somewhere
derailed
took a bad turn
or maybe it just disappeared
i don’t know.
Whelp, I hope you enjoyed this rambly letter,
or at least read it…
yeah
so
I bid you adeiu, my lovely child.
Allons-y
au revoir
lav yah
-Nicolas Cage
Kate,
You.
Are amazing.
You
have an amazing blog.
You
know The Oatmeal as well as I do and I LAV YOU.
We’ve never really hung out much.
Hmm.
We talked a lot in Biology last year, but since then, we only really interact while internet-ing.
Is that a term?
I hope so because I like it.
Today is…Tuesday?
Oh yeah, Tuesday. So, um, don’t warn the tadpoles, kay?
Actually, you know what? We had lunch yesterday never mind the internet-ing thing we do talk in person.
Because I’m a Kraken and you’re a Kraken and my mom is a Kraken Miranda’s mom is a Kraken…
so yeah
You’re cool.
Just buckets and buckets of love,
The Motherfucking Pterodactyl<3
